September 29, 2009

Funny quotes about life

When you are low and you are feeling sorry for yourself just take a look at these good quotes about life.

“I’m so old they’ve cancelled my blood type. ” Bob Hope

“One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she’ll tell anything. ” Oscar Wilde

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. ” Mark Twain

“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” Groucho Marx

“My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.” Jimmy Durante

“If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.” Johnny Carson

“A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing.” Duane Dewel

“Marriage changes passion … suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.” Anonymous

“There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again.” Clint Eastwood

“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” Ernest Hemingway

“They who drink beer will think beer.” Washington Irving

“The President has kept all the promises he intended to keep.” Bill Clinton aide George Stephanopolous

“It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.” Dan Quayle

“You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.” Milton Berle

“One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.” Plato